Sexuality

by Jan Boontinand, UK

When talking about sexuality I think each of us has different
ideas, beliefs and values about it depending on our cultural
backgrounds, our life experiences and the kind of education we
have had. For me, sexuality can refer to sexual practice,
sexual relationships, preference and our mentality about
sexual role/gender role.

I believe sexuality is of 2 origins i.e. biological and
sociological. The biological part is said to be associated
with the reproductive cycle of family, the male/female
hormones that contribute to the different physical appearance
of men and women and to the same extend, the emotional change
in women. How much the biological aspect really contributes to
our sexuality is to be questioned.

The more important factor of sexuality is a social one. There
are myths about "natural characteristics" of men and women
which associate women with nature and men with science. Thus,
women are caring, gentle, fearful and indecisive while men are
rational, intelligent, brave and in control. So, with this
belief, certain assumptions toward men and women are made and
expectations of them are based on these "given"
characteristics.

Another myth about sexuality says that because it's our
sexuality, we know everything about it, but when you look at
the way we are brought up or how we are taught to relate to
our sexual identity you can see that women are often
discouraged to learn about herself, her body and her
sexuality. Young girls are taught not to play with herself and
her sexuality is being labelled as dirty,  shameful and
something to be hidden as private.

In addition, while in most societies, women's sexuality or
sexual need is de-emphasised, men are more free to engage in
different aspects of sexual experiences. The myth of male
uncontrollable sexual urges allows them to seek sexual
pleasure more easily and is more accepted. Women are meant to
be shameful of their sexual pleasure. For many married women,
sexual practice with their husbands is seen as duty in a
marriage. 

In general, I think a lack of awareness or the believe in
myths about sexuality in women and men have affected us and
women in particular in terms of their gender power relation.
We need to recognise that we are socialized to have certain
characteristics and personalities that do not belong to us by
nature. Men and women have potential to be equally caring,
rational, hesitant, and confident. Allow yourself to discover
who you are and become that person fully. Empower yourself so
you can help empower the others.